Watch enough porn or perv the NSFW side of Tumblr long enough, and your customers will come across the image of naked, wet writhing bodies in the shower or tub. They contort their bodies, fuck without worry, and never seem to slip. In real life, bath and shower sex isn’t that easy; you slip and slide, things get awkward and, let’s face it, water is not the best lubricant.
Great sex in an aqueous environment isn’t impossible, but if previous bath-time adventures failed to live up to your customers’ sexy expectations, give them some of these tips before throwing in the towel.
1.) Stand still
Slippery when wet sounds sexy, but only when it applies to your customer or their partner, not the bottom of their tub. Bathtub and shower floors can be extremely slick once you add two pairs of feet and a bunch of water (and soap!). So, advise customers to choose their shower or tub sex wisely. Have them put mats or treads on the bottom of the tub to prevent a not-so-sexy spill. Also remember to let them know to keep their body as stable as possible, especially while you’re standing or bent over.
2.) Hold on
The last time I had sex in the shower, I was bent over almost double while my partner held my hips and found a good rhythm. Even the water was nice. What wasn’t nice was the way my head nearly hit the shower wall with each thrust. The fix? I held onto the towel/shower bar in the tub (where washcloths usually hang). This also gave me leverage to push back against him. Another possibility for customers is to install a sturdy grab bar just for this purpose.
3.) Go slow
If what your customers want is wild, thrashing sex that shifts to a new position every few minutes, the shower or bath probably isn’t the place for them. They can enjoy a fast fuck in the water, but any movement from one sexual position to another will need to be slow and deliberate to avoid any slips or falls. Busting your ass in the tub isn’t sexy or fun.
4.) Bring your (waterproof) toys
Toys in the bathtub are fun as long as they’re the right toys. Point out your fully waterproof toys, ideally those that are easy to hang on to (toys get slippery too).
5.) Keep your face out of the water
Oral sex in the shower can be sexy and erotic—until someone is hit square in the face with water. It looks sexy in images but the reality can be very different. The stream of water going up their nose while they’ve got someone’s genitals in their mouth makes it difficult to breathe. (Ask me how I know.) Newbies will have to be mindful of their position and either move the shower head or make sure they’re in a good spot so they can stay comfortable (and avoid half-drowning!) while they pleasure their partner.
6.) Get dirty
Shower or bath sex are great for times when you don’t want to get the sheets or bed dirty. Period sex, golden showers, or even squirting orgasms are good candidates for shower and bath sex, depending on what your customers are into and enjoy. Any mess goes right down the drain, and they don’t have to worry about changing sheets or cleaning up when they’re done.
7.) Lube up
If interested parties intend to penetrate themselves or their partner during shower or bath sex, they should know to bring lube and lots of it. Water can wash away any natural lubricant produced by the body. Painful or difficult penetration doesn’t exactly add to the fun of getting freaky in the shower. Show them a silicone or hybrid lubricant they like and doesn’t cause irritation. (Just remember that silicone lubes don’t mesh with silicone toys!)
8.) End on dry land
Maybe they don’t want to bring their lube into the bathroom or the fear of slipping turns them off. In this case, they can let their shower be the start of something and finish on dry land. They can wash each other and use the slickness of the soap to touch all the right places. They can use their toy or just make out under the hot water. There’s no rule that says that the happy ending has to happen in the tub for it to count as shower sex.
The most important thing to remember about shower or bath sex is that it doesn’t have to, shouldn’t, and probably won’t, match any fantasy your customers have in their head. Sex, in whatever form, is supposed to be fun. Encourage people that want to try to laugh at the near-slips, the weird positions, and the water spraying them in the face. Remind them to take their time to find a position and rhythm that works best for them or their partner. And, when it’s not fun anymore, get out and move on to something that is.
Professional writer, sex blogger, erotic author, sexual submissive, and kinkster, Kayla writes more than is probably healthy over at A Sexual Being and overshares about the kinky and mundane side of her BDSM relationship. Her mission: to make BDSM, specifically Dominance and submission, less scary, less weird, and much more real and attainable for anyone willing to learn more.