This is a “deeply disappointing sex toy”
She’s not mincing words with this toy review. Top adult toy blogger Epiphora isn’t liking the new Bi Stronic Fusion from Fun Factory: “Dropping $220 on this thing is not going to feel like a solid choice for most people on Earth.” And that’s just the start.
It sounds perfect on paper: a beautiful marrying of motion and vibration. A self-thrusting shaft and a vibrating clitoral stimulator all in one sex toy, from the company that brought us the truly innovative and actually life-altering Stronic Eins. I was optimistic, believe me.
But oh my god, the Fun Factory Bi Stronic Fusion is a deeply disappointing sex toy. Its insertable portion is flawless—that’s the hard truth—but its clitoral portion is absolutely unforgivable. Terrible aim, dismal vibrations. We have here an ingenious thing wrecked by an ill-fated modification, like dill pickle soup made with too much pickle juice, or Facebook now that your racist relatives have joined. Can’t enjoy it now, can you?
If this sounds like a melodramatic soliloquy, it’s because this is the kind of toy that inspires hope in people. They hold it in their hands and start believing in miracles. Never before have I felt so compelled to abruptly slap the sex toy out of their hands and implore them not to waste their money.
This review is my slap. This is my stern, unwavering eye contact. My plaintive but firm, “Don’t.”
Blame the clitoral stimulator most of all. It overshoots my clit by miles, and its vibrations are godawful. This is a motor so unpleasant that, quite frankly, Fun Factory should know better than to utilize it in any of their toys, and certainly not in their most expensive one.
Yeah, because that’s a thing: the Bi Stronic Fusion costs $220. Nobody should spend that much money on something this likely to suck.