(Note: This story appears in the June 2023 issue of SE Magazine)
Though “Fifty Shades of Gray” opened many up to experiment with bondage play, there is so much more to BDSM than blindfolds and satin wrist ties. In this Special Focus, we’ll be diving fearlessly into the more “advanced” levels of BDSM, as we showcase the most popular — and the most “extreme” — products available to stores today.
Vendors
Sportsheets / sportsheets.com
When looking at kink, the goal is not to strike fear in a consumer looking to purchase our products, no matter how advanced it may be. While fear play can play a role in kink-based interactions, it caters to a limited group of individuals who are specifically seeking for fear to be incorporated. Our goal in all of our products is to spark not only arousal, but curiosity and the desire to discover new forms of pleasure within the kink realm with the help of our brand.
– Nathan Hammerle, Marketing Coordinator for Sportsheets. For more information, visit Sportsheets.com.
Nasstoys / Nasstoys.com
As you can probably imagine, anal sex plays a vital role in BDSM. The Nasstoys inflatables like the Mack Tuff and Fanny Hill are great tools to incorporate into advanced play scenes. The primary draw of inflatable sex toys is their capacity for changing size, which is especially apprealing for more advanced players, since they can get large. Usually, the core of the toy is firm, which allows you to easily insert it into you or your partner. Once the toy is inside, simply use the pump to inflate it and increase its size. These toys are one of the best companions for BDSM because they can serve as a punishment, anal training or almost anything else.
– Carly S., Social Media and PR Manager at Nasstoys. For more information, visit Nasstoys.com.
XR BRANDS / xbrands.com
The top four categories, sales-wise, for the more advanced folk are chastity/CBT, extreme nipple play like clamps and weights, FISTS!! XL dildos, forced prolapse and gaping or tunnel plugs. These hardcore categories cater to the most submissive among us, usually purchased at the direction of their Dominant. While shock, fear and novelty are all reasons folks may use to purchase the hardcore stuff, the real reason is the absolute release that comes from relinquishing complete power and control to another.
– Josh Ortiz, Brand Ambassador for XR Brands. For more information, visit XRbrands.com.
Distributors’ Picks
NALPAC / NS Novelties and Shots
Like anything, trends in BDSM change. As of late, my customers are buying a lot of fantasy items — things like the Spectra line from NS Novelties which is made of holographic vegan material, perfect for festival season and stylized play sessions. Or the Puppy Play line from Shots, reasonably priced for the more-adventurous players looking to explore the pet play experience. During the pandemic, we saw a demand for advanced items such as urethral sounds and chastity devices. As of late, softer bondage items are becoming more popular.
– Mary Freeman, Sales Representative for Nalpac. For more information, visit Nalpac.com.
CB-X / CB-X.com
We offer two cages for advanced chastity users: the Mini-Me® (1 ¼”), and Mr. Stubb (1 ¾”). We developed both of these shorter designs to accommodate users with the corresponding anatomical measurements. However, Mini-Me® and Mr. Stubb are favorites among our customers, usually more advanced chastity wearers, who are into sissification play and/or humiliation.
– Alicia Davis, General & Sales Manager of CB-X. For more information, visit CB-X.com.
CalExotics / CalExotics.com
CalExotics’ Scandal collection is the most applicable to Pleasure and Pain. Our best-selling items from this collection, all of which comes in a commanding and stylish black and red, are the Bed Restraints, Rope, Cuff Set and Over the Bed Cross.
– Nichole Grossmann, Marketing Director of CalExotics.For more information, visit CalExotics.com.
Orion Wholesale / Orion-wholesale.com
The strongest brand in the BDSM sector at ORION Wholesale is our rather soft label “Bad Kitty.” Here, the range extends from bondage sets to masks, gags, special sex toys and harness sets to fetish sets and swings. Modern and playful, the “Bad Kitty” products are perfect for newcomers to the world of BDSM. And the appealing packaging makes you want more just by looking at them. All “Bad Kitty” products are of high quality and deliver excellent value for money.
Basically, the biggest demand is for ‘normal’ restraints, but the demand for high-priced products such as swings or sex furniture is steadily increasing.
– Björn Radcke, Head of Sales & Marketing (B2B) at ORION Wholesale. For more information, visit Orion-wholesale.com.
CYREX LTD./ELECTRASTIM
Both our Flux and AXIS stimulators cater to the advanced market with a wide range of customizable features and enough power for the vast majority of users. With all electro I think there’s an element of both fear and novelty inbuilt simply because people don’t know what it will feel like.
The BDSM community has always been incredibly creative in finding new and interesting ways to play on that, and anything we bring out that facilitates their wicked side is usually a success!
In terms of shock factor, our range of Extreme Metal Butt Plugs (Intruder, Invader, Intimidator) are the ones that get the most reaction at shows or demo evenings. Not only
are these eye-wateringly large, but they’re also incredibly heavy, so they certainly make an impact. And that’s before we’ve even turned the electro on. Having said that, it may come as a surprise that as an electro brand we don’t use the word ‘shock’ in our marketing, packaging or training. It’s not what e-stim really feels like anyway, and the negative connotation of electrical currents and ‘shock’ don’t do us any favors when trying to entice beginners.
– Claire Blakeborough, Marketing and Communications Manager of Cyrex Ltd. (which includes ElectraStim). For more information, visit electrastim.com.
DOC JOHNSON / DocJohnson.com
Doc Johnson’s new collaboration with Fort Troff, a leading gay kink company, will be an exciting addition to the DJ BDSM supply. Fort Troff was founded in 2007 by Louis Ceruzzi, who saw the need for certain products while running wildly successful Atlanta-area dungeon parties. The first of the products from the highly-anticipated collection debuted at the ANME Founders Show in January. These products included six cock rings, four thrusting machines, and the Gunner System, dubbed “a truly revolutionary multi-function fucking machine.”
– Thao Dipolito, Marketing Manager, Doc Johnson. For more information, visit Docjohnson.com.
ELDORADO / SPORTSHEETS
The Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System is, by far, my top-selling BDSM product. Rightfully so! It’s affordable and great for beginners as well as experienced people into the BDSM lifestyle. Spartacus also carries high-quality, comfortable restraints, various clamps and some beautiful leather-wrapped canes that have really taken off in sales.
– Emily Pulaski, Eldorado Account Manager. For more information, visit Eldorado.net.
What growth have you seen in the market recently? Do you think that, since the pandemic, kink has become more popular?
In practice, kink has absolutely become more popular due to the pandemic. During lockdown and when people were self-isolating, many individuals and couples took that time to get more in tune with their body and sexual needs. Some discovered the kink community through online groups and social media like TikTok and found that the initial fears they may have had were no longer warranted. Obviously, with more people wanting to explore, the market for these products grew, too. Given the duration of the pandemic, those beginning their exploration have since moved beyond beginner products and have begun investing into slightly more advanced products and the specific aspects of kink that they enjoy most.
– Nathan Hammerle, Marketing Coordinator for Sportsheets. For more information, visit Sportsheets.com.
The newest wave I’ve seen has been towards the market of fantasy items. Tentacles, canine, tongues, alien, etc. are flying off shelves. I absolutely believe that the lockdown that first came from COVID, and the way we’ve had to learn to socialize in the last 3 years since COVID, has driven more folks to kink and fetish play. We had more time alone, we had stimuli raining from the sky and we all felt so wildly out of control, underinformed and quite frankly — helpless. Kink allows you to regain control of yourself, regardless of the role you play. True and healthy kink practices are meant to make the unsteady feel like they are on solid ground when the session is over.
– Josh Ortiz, Brand Ambassador for XR Brands. For more information, visit XRbrands.com.
All the time we spent at home during the pandemic has given people the opportunity to explore new things that arouse and excite them. We’ve seen an influx of more beginners to electro sex over the last couple of years and I think a big difference in behavior since the pandemic is that people are a lot more willing to spend time and money on things that make them happy. Granted sex toys have always been popular, but electro sex tends to be more of an investment due to the equipment you need so it’s not really an impulse buy! We’re starting to see now that people who have never tried electro before are “going all out” and picking up a large number of toys and more powerful stimulators with the view that this is a type of play they want to get into.
– Claire Blakeborough, Marketing and Communications Manager of Cyrex Ltd. (which includes ElectraStim). For more information, visit electrastim.com.
We have seen the market swing in the direction of more advanced chastity cage designs as of late. Our core target audience invests in our best-selling chastity kits, the CB-3000, CB-6000 and CB-6000S as the #1 first-time chastity cages because they are recognized for safety, comfort and durability. Around 90% of our new customers state that based on the positive experience they had with our chastity cages, they choose to transition into long-term lifestyle chastity wear.
During the pandemic, kink definitely grew in popularity. We saw many people invest in sex toys and pleasure products across the board — specifically for male-identifying individuals. Based on our insights, penis strokers landed at the top of the list, with niche kink products like chastity cages not far behind.
Chastity cages were popular during lockdown, a unique and new concept for those in long-term relationships, as well as for penis owners who turned to chastity to help curb frequent or excessive masturbation tendencies during long periods of isolation. During the pandemic, a survey of 3,400 users on the app KinkD revealed that the top three kinks that people were exploring during lockdown were virtual sex (#1), Dom/sub (#2) and orgasm control (#3). We definitely saw the latter two reflected in our sales as folks continued to explore new boundaries in their sexual and intimate relationships.
– Alicia Davis, General & Sales Manager of CB-X. For more information, visit CB-X.com.
The growing sector in the market is things that are unique and different. Consumers are looking for a distraction from what’s going on in the world, and for many, BDSM is that escape. Exploring BDSM has given people the opportunity to better connect with their relationships and their partners. When you explore BDSM you also need to work on communication skills, trust and consent in a way that “vanilla” sex and relationships don’t always facilitate. BDSM may also be more popular during the pandemic because BDSM can promote creativity in the bedroom. After all, many BDSM items are very versatile and can be used together in many different types of play. For example, a customer can use restraints, a gag or a blindfold during any activity, not just kinky ones. You may use these items during foreplay, during sex, during a massage, during a spanking and in many more ways! This spark of creativity that consumers get with BDSM helps them to focus on their relationships and sex rather than outside stressors by giving them ways to experience sex and intimacy as a creative outlet.
– Carly S., Social Media and PR Manager at Nasstoys. For more information, visit Nasstoys.com.
What’s the science behind the pain and pleasure link? Or, why do you think that this fetish exists?
There is no “one size fits all” answer to this. For some, there is a psychological answer, while for others the actual sensation of pain is appealing. After all, why do many people press on a bruise once they see it? But it’s important to note the difference between kink and fetish. Kink is an umbrella term and is very much tailored to the individual, so while the definition of kink is normally viewed as the “inclusion of sexual acts outside of normal sexual intercourse” or “unusual sexual acts,” our individual definitions of what is normal vs. unusual varies. A fetish is different and falls under that kink umbrella. For some, incorporating a specific fetish, like impact or other forms of pain play, might be required for them to achieve sexual satisfaction. Pain play can fall under each of these terms. And for the “why” it exists? Well, that is determined by the individual’s background, not any one generic reason.
– Nathan Hammerle, Marketing Coordinator for Sportsheets. For more information, visit Sportsheets.com.
It runs so much deeper than pain = pleasure. I’m learning, as I embark on my own journey of sobriety from alcohol, that certain aspects of pain can cause pleasure in deeper ways than sexual. My example being via ropes. I have been a Dom for a long time and am in no way a switch. However — I am close to another transmasculine Dom and trust him with my
life. I have been letting him tie me in rope — sometimes in painful positions or rigs — and I’ve noticed as I’m being untied, my brain is flooded with all the good feelings alcohol used to provide. The positive pressure, even the pain from the rope, releases dopamine and cortisol into the bloodstream and right to the brain, which is a soothing natural high that helps both the body and mind feel enveloped in a state of euphoria. The last several years have been full of uncertainty, social pressures, political stressors, financial crisis and more. People are hungry for something to make them feel better, and I truly believe that kink and fetish is the absolute healthiest way to explore your body’s limitations and possibilities.
– Josh Ortiz, Brand Ambassador for XR Brands. For more information, visit XRbrands.com.
The endorphins released to help us cope with pain are the same that are released when we’re happy or we’ve exercised/ orgasmed. Those endorphins combined with the adrenaline produced by pain can translate into a feeling of euphoria or a ‘rush’; the same as when you ride a rollercoaster. I think we can all agree that’s pretty fun! Pain is useful to protect us — but in a safe and consensual environment when you know that the pain can end whenever you want it to — it’s an incredibly liberating experience. It’s the same as getting a tattoo. As someone covered in them, I can attest to how addictive this pleasure/pain high can be. It’s really no surprise that this fetish exists in the bedroom, too.
– Claire Blakeborough, Marketing and Communications Manager of Cyrex Ltd. (which includes ElectraStim). For more information, visit electrastim.com.
The psychology and science behind pain and pleasure is pretty multi-faceted. A spectrum of factors may influence an individual’s desire or sexual response to either inflicting pain (sadism) or receiving pain (masochism). It likely combines biological, psychological and social factors, depending on an individual’s personal experiences.
The release of endorphins is one way of understanding the scientific connection between pain and pleasure. Physical stressors trigger the release of endorphins, which can produce natural “high” or a morphine-like metabolic effect. Intense pain may cause the body to respond with a heightened level of physiological arousal. The release of endorphins can increase the submissive’s pain tolerance, induce “subspace,” or a deep, “trance-like” state that is a byproduct of intense or erotic interactions with the Dominant.
For some, it is purely about the exchange of pain sensation. For others, often advanced players, it is about the transference of painful sensations that heighten pleasure and arousal.
– Alicia Davis, General & Sales Manager of CB-X. For more information, visit CB-X.com.
The link between pleasure and pain is firmly rooted in biology. Pain causes the central nervous system to release endorphins, which act to block pain and bring on feelings of euphoria. Pain can help us feel deeply connected with our bodies and our partners while drowning out negative thoughts or higher-level thoughts about life outside of the bedroom. Participating in conversations about kink with your partner can be a way to broaden your sexual preferences together, because pain, in particular, requires active communication. All of these reasons lead people to enjoy various forms of BDSM.
– Carly S., Social Media and PR Manager at Nasstoys. For more information, visit Nasstoys.com.
Are there any products that you thought would succeed but were too extreme or failed for some other reason? What products have you found surprisingly successful?
There is a relatively large divide between consumers that purchase their kink gear in an adult novelty store vs. where seasoned kinksters will purchase their gear. More experienced players might not find what is in stores to be tailored to their level and more often seek out custom or craft makers. So, while something might not succeed in the adult retail space, it doesn’t mean that it’s an unsuccessful product. For example, overhead wrist restraints that utilize a hand grip are extremely popular in kink dungeons as it eases pressure placed on the wrist and reduces discomfort as well as risk of nerve damage. But that product has very low appeal to individuals who don’t go into that deeper level of restraint and therefore makes it unsuccessful in the average adult retail market.
– Nathan Hammerle, Marketing Coordinator for Sportsheets. For more information, visit Sportsheets.com.
I can tell you, with confidence, I have yet to find something too extreme for the hardcore kink community. Of course, some items are most definitely niche items or something we’d rather have specialty advertising for, rather than having it in stock for a year. But I’ve not found something hardcore that hasn’t been well-received. One of the things that I continually find joy in being successful is the Latrine Feeder Gag by MasterSeries. It’s 100% a urinal for your mouth, and even though many eyes widen at the thought, many mouths do, too ;).
– Josh Ortiz, Brand Ambassador for XR Brands. For more information, visit XRbrands.com.
Over the 21 years ElectraStim has been around we’ve had some products that haven’t performed as well as we expected, but I don’t think we’ve ever had anything too extreme for our audience. A large number of our products are designed based on customer feedback or a retailer’s special request, so we know there’s already some market for it before we even put pencil to paper.
In terms of surprisingly successful we’ve always been very happy with the response to our electro sounds. It’s not a new concept within the e-stim market by any means but in terms of the more hardcore side of the market, the reception to the larger 9mm metal sound has always been fantastic and has stayed on the best-seller list since it came out in the 2010s. We recently launched a set of silicone sounds to give an extra variety in sensation and to appeal to newbies to both electro and to sounding.
– Claire Blakeborough, Marketing and Communications Manager of Cyrex Ltd. (which includes ElectraStim). For more information, visit electrastim.com.
Our collection of chastity devices have thankfully been successful year after year because our product development decisions are driven by 1: the proven success of former CB-X chastity cage designs, and 2: user feedback and demand. User interest is established before we design a new product.
We have found the Mini-Me to be surprisingly successful. We knew that a chastity cage this size was desired by our customer base, but we did not realize how well it would sell or how quickly it would become one of our Top 4 best-selling cages.
– Alicia Davis, General & Sales Manager of CB-X. For more information, visit CB-X.com.
Distributors: How do BDSM products sell, compared to other product segments?
Before 2020, I would have considered BDSM more of a niche product selection in the overall market. Since the world changed, more folks are opening to new experiences — new reaches of personal pleasure and pain. At this point, BDSM products are much more widely-used and sought-out. Maybe not as common as a lipstick vibe or Magic Wand, but not nearly as taboo as they used to be. Just about all of my accounts carry introductory bondage at the very least.
– Mary Freeman, Sales Representative for Nalpac. For more information, visit Nalpac.com.
Lingerie and sex toys are our strongest product categories, but in recent years, BDSM has been growing steadily with our customers.
– Björn Radcke, Head of Sales & Marketing (B2B) at ORION Wholesale. For more information, visit orion-wholesale.com.
BDSM is a small product category for Eldorado compared to vibrating toys. While we have several specialty stores that cater to individuals and couples who are in the BDSM lifestyle, we also have several retailers who cross- merchandise their BDSM selections within other product categories. Quickie Cuffs from Creative Conceptions are a great item to showcase in a lingerie section, along with blindfolds and small whips and crops. Stores can get creative in offering more BDSM products without having to have a full BDSM dedicated section in their store.
– Jamie Newmark, Eldorado Account Manager. For more information, visit Eldorado.net.
Distributors: Which are more popular right now: products on the ‘lighter’ side of BDSM or the more ‘advanced’ side?
I see a lot of products for edge play, role play and control right now, which is more of a matter of trends in types of play rather than an advanced vs. beginner thing. With more manufacturers creating high-quality light bondage gear at a good price point, new shoppers are making the leap to incorporate these items into their purchases. First-time customers in the space generally will favor the beginner bondage options.
– Mary Freeman, Sales Representative for Nalpac. For more information, visit Nalpac.com.
The most popular BDSM products at ORION Wholesale are all types of restraints. This is perhaps also explained by the fact that they are more affordable. BDSM products for advanced users are usually more specialized and more expensive – as a result, we sell fewer of them. But the demand is growing, which also speaks for our range selection and quality.
– Björn Radcke, Head of Sales & Marketing (B2B) at ORION Wholesale. For more information, visit orion-wholesale.com.
Advanced BDSM products are becoming more popular. As BDSM topics are normalized through mainstream media, thanks to the Netflix show How to Build a Sex Room and
the popularity of adult-theme books on TikTok (BookTok), more customers are curious about advanced play. They look for better quality products that will last longer. Advanced BDSM products often have higher quality materials and workmanship, which are meant to take a beating.
– Jamie Newmark, Eldorado Account Manager. For more information, visit Eldorado.net.
Distributors: Which are more popular right now: products on the ‘lighter’ side of BDSM or the more ‘advanced’ side?
I see a lot of products for edge play, role play and control right now, which is more of a matter of trends in types of play rather than an advanced vs. beginner thing. With more manufacturers creating high-quality light bondage gear at a good price point, new shoppers are making the leap to incorporate these items into their purchases. First-time customers in the space generally will favor the beginner bondage options.
– Mary Freeman, Sales Representative for Nalpac. For more information, visit Nalpac.com.
The most popular BDSM products at ORION Wholesale are all types of restraints. This is perhaps also explained by the fact that they are more affordable. BDSM products for advanced users are usually more specialized and more expensive – as a result, we sell fewer of them. But the demand is growing, which also speaks for our range selection and quality.
– Björn Radcke, Head of Sales & Marketing (B2B) at ORION Wholesale. For more information, visit orion-wholesale.com.
Advanced BDSM products are becoming more popular. As BDSM topics are normalized through mainstream media, thanks to the Netflix show How to Build a Sex Room and the popularity of adult-theme books on TikTok (BookTok), more customers are curious about advanced play. They look for better quality products that will last longer. Advanced BDSM products often have higher quality materials and workmanship, which are meant to take a beating.
– Jamie Newmark, Eldorado Account Manager. For more information, visit Eldorado.net.
FOCUS EXTRA
What are the best-selling BDSM products in your store?
To gain a better perspective on BDSM sales in adult stores, we polled our readers via SurveyMonkey. Thank you to everyone who responded!
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