The sex toy industry targets many markets, and there’s an aid to pleasure for every body. For the over-50 crowd, lightweight, ergonomic and easy to operate toys enhance pleasure at a time in life that it can be a bit more challenging in bed.
When the sex you’ve always enjoyed isn’t necessarily accessible or satisfying after 50, you just have to expand your options, explains certified sex therapist Sandi Kaufman.
According to AARP, the American Association of Retired Persons, a new AARP survey of older adults’ sex lives found that less than half were satisfied with their present experiences, especially compared to their previous performances. The primary obstacles older adults report for lower sexual satisfaction, according to the survey, include “declining health, stress and life-stage changes.”
“We’re talking about older adults with erectile unpredictability, dry vaginas that can make sex uncomfortable, knee replacements, back issues, arthritis,” says Kaufman. “What I’m talking about is trying to get people to think more openly about what sex looks like as they encounter aging bodies.”
Let yourself live
Marilyn Jerome, M.D., a gynecologist whose practice involves older women primarily, says that one of the biggest hurdles in improving the sex lives of the elderly with the introduction of sex toys is working through their willingness to allow themselves to use them.
According to AARP, “Jerome recalls being ‘thrilled’ when a single woman in her 80s felt comfortable talking to her about how she still felt sexual but had been taught masturbation is wrong. She advised her patient to get a vibrator.”
In Jerome’s lobby, she keeps a display case of eight curated medical-grade silicone rechargeable vibrators that are unassuming and easy to operate. She also stocks dilators that, paired with a compatible lubricant, stretch the vagina while relaxing the vaginal muscles to help it prepare for comfortable penetrative sex.
“My thought was that if I carry these in my office, I am giving patients permission to use them, telling patients this is normal,” explains Jerome.
Actually, the practice is more “normal” than many people who are taught that toys are taboo are willing to admit. The AARP survey found that one in three older adults use a vibrator for personal pleasure or increased pleasure with a partner.
That there are toys available for any kind of relationship or lack thereof is especially pertinent for an age demographic full of life changes. Later in life, many people are widowed, divorced, separated or single for other reasons.
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