Not all that long ago, bondage and S&M products were relegated to the back of adult retail stores, tucked in a corner and kept away from more “mainstream” adult toys. But that was then, and this is now. Today, the BDSM segment is more mainstream — yet also more “extreme” — than ever before, and almost every major adult manufacturer has a line or two dedicated to this discerning customer.
Exactly how extreme is extreme BDSM in 2019? That’s the question this Special Focus, Redefining “Extreme,” aims to answer. We also polled our readers to find out what their top-selling BDSM products are, as well as the most popular fetish requests from customers.
CalExotics
Nichole Grossmann
calexotics.com
Top BDSM product:
Scandal Bed Restraints
Sink into the sensations of total immobility and relinquish total control to your lover with the Scandal Bed Restraints. The lack of movement intensifies all the sensations you experience. Restraints are an amazing way to increase trust, deepen emotional connection, and explore each other’s desires in a whole new way. The wrist and ankle cuffs are totally adjustable and feature a soft and plushy interior that will keep you comfy…no matter how hard you strain against them. The outside of the cuffs is covered in gorgeous red brocade fabric that you’ll shiver in anticipation to see strapped around your wrists.
Your partner will love the way your body looks with your legs and arms spread wide in the most vulnerable and enticing of positions. The tethers can be used in a variety of positions: Try them wrapped up from under the mattress or wrapped around a bedpost to keep you tethered firmly to the bed and spread out for your lover’s enjoyment. The set even includes an extension tether, so you’ll be held firmly in place on any size bed.
Doc Johnson
Chad Braverman
docjohnson.com
Top BDSM product line:
Kink by Doc Johnson
The Kink line features premium materials and the most thoughtfully crafted designs out there— and because it was created in close collaboration with Kink.com, shoppers of all experience levels know that they are getting high-quality, vetted products with one of the most trusted name in the community’s stamp of approval. We really wanted to create a comprehensive BDSM/fetish line and not exclude beginners or advanced users- but rather, offer a full collection of the best and most trusted BDSM products out there, for a range of all experience levels.
In terms of standout products from the Kink by Doc Johnson collection, The Stinger Electro Play Wand has been a particularly hot seller, as have our In Deep – Premium Silicone Anal Snake and The Quad Premium Silicone Whip. But in general, we can barely keep the majority of our Kink by Doc Johnson items in stock. The Kink by Doc Johnson Fucking Machines Power Banger has been a particularly hot seller since its release in 2017— a testament to its exceptionally user-centric design and impressively accessible price point.
ElectraStim
Claire Blakeborough
electrastim.com
Top BDSM product:
Intimidator
Although they’re definitely on the extreme side of things, our metal butt plugs, like the Intimidator, have always been incredibly popular. I think the combination of the cold metal, the weight and the rigidity is what appeals to a lot of our customers and that’s before they’ve even added electro to the equation.
The largest butt plug in the Extreme range is called Intimidator for a reason. Prepare to feel stretched to your limits and filled to the brim by this impressively big metal butt plug. ElectraStim Extreme Intimidator Butt Plugs measure 5.3 inches in insertable length with a gargantuan girth of 8.6 inches, you’ll need a lot of water-based lube and plenty of patience to conquer this massive anal electrode. The heavyweight, large proportions and curvy form can only be tackled by those who are advanced in their anal training.
The weight optimizes pressure against the prostate and other anal sweet spots, serving up lashings of sensation. Plug Intimidator into the SensaVox and prepare to be thrilled by tingles, contractions and pulsations to complement the curvaceous proportions.
Mystim
Corinna Trümner
mystim.com
Top BDSM product:
Opus E
Our beautifully designed masturbator Opus E impresses by combining masturbator and e-stim. Boasting current-emitting technology, the transmitted electrical impulses go exactly where they are supposed to go: From the root to the tip of the penis. Opus E offers three optical and functional sleeve variants: Vaginal, anal and donut-shaped.
But it is characterized by further benefits. It has a realistic internal structure and is suitable for all stimulation current devices. And the best thing about it is that it is remote controllable from the Sultry Sub Black Edition onwards and can be operated wirelessly.
Pipedream Products
Sunny Rodgers
pipedreamproducts.com
Top BDSM product:
Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition
Wraparound Mattress Restraints
Transform your bed into a passion playground and let the games begin! These wrap-around mattress restraints open a world of possibilities for you and your lover. Experience the thrill of bondage and take turns role-playing—one minute you’re in control and the next, you’re at the mercy of your lover! The durable nylon tethers connect to 4 satin-lined cuffs, which easily adjust to securely hold your partner in place. Explore your deepest fetish fantasies!
Oxballs
Ryan Fraga
oxballs.com
We do make the most extreme men’s toys for specific kinks—we make a strap on urinal gag, we make “pig-holes” a toy that opens a man’s, (or woman’s) hole so they have no control over their gaping hole. And we make really cool chastity toys—that’s a form of BDSM or a adjunct to it that we have seen huge interest in.
Sir Richard’s
Sunny Rodgers
sirrichards.com
Top BDSM product:
Command by Sir Richard’s
Deluxe Cuff Set
Sir Richard’s Deluxe Cuff Set for those who crave control. Deluxe Cuff Set features longer straps for added versatility and includes a separate Heavy-Duty Extension Strap to expand restraint options. Firmly secure wrists or ankles to suit your bondage-play. All heavy-duty straps are thick, durable industrial-strength nylon straps that feature fully adjustable stainless steel lock rings, allowing for a controlled, custom fit every time.
Who is in Command? Sir Richard’s Command Collection is for serious BDSM connoisseurs who demand the best. Command components are forged from stainless steel and solid rivets, allowing for extreme fetish play. The professional-grade carabiners can support hardcore play and ensure complete control. The strategic V-Ring design offers further control and lessens slippage associated with average O-Rings. Use the carabiners to link the Deluxe Cuff Set to other Command products for optimum versatility.
Sportsheets
John Turi
sportsheets.com
Top BDSM product:
Under the Bed Restraint System
The Under The Bed Restraint System is easy to set up, in fact, sets up in minutes. It fits any size mattress and travels anywhere well. Its portability allows it to be used at home or on vacations. It comes with four wrist/ankle Manbound cuffs measuring 66”.
The system turns any-size bed into a place of binding pleasure. Restraint straps quickly fit beneath mattress or frame without hooks allowing for someone’s arms or legs to be tied from the top and/or bottom of the bed.
The Stockroom
Joel Tucker
stockroom.com
Top BDSM product:
Agent Noir Neon Wand Kit
The Agent Noir Neon Wand Kit is doing very well. Besides the appeal of keeping your toys in a locking aluminum briefcase, it comes with 10 different attachments and electrodes. That includes the Electro-Whip, which combines impact play and electricity, and the Power Tripper, which is a flat electrode that lies against one partner’s skin. That effectively electrifies the entire body so that when the two of you caress, touch, or kiss, both people tingle and shiver with current. The Flex Capacitor is another Neon Wand attachment that has been a hit product with the broader adult market.
Special Focus continued…
To what do you attribute the transition of BDSM to mainstream appeal?
John Turi, Sportsheets: “Fifty Shades of Grey” attributed to the mainstream beginnings of BDSM. However, now, you can see BDSM in fashion, art exhibits, to TV shows, like “High Maintenance” and “Vice’s Slutever.” The more that it’s seen as acceptable, the more boundaries will be pushed.
Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson: One of the most visible catalysts for the public’s growing acceptance of BDSM has been the media. In the past 5-10 years in particular, we’ve seen a huge increase in press coverage and mainstream portrayals of BDSM on multiple platforms- in movies and TV shows, pop culture and the media.
BDSM’s increased exposure has introduced millions of people to more open communication about sexuality, new ideas for sexual connection, and the world of sex toys in general. But BDSM as a category has most definitely enjoyed the most growth in this time period.
Sunny Rodgers, Pipedream Products: I applaud Michael B. Jordan and Timothee Chalamet for their recent awards ceremony looks because they both wore harnesses straight from the BDSM scene. Jordan wore a purple floral harness over a sleek double-breasted suit to the Screen Actors’ Guild awards on January 27, 2019, and Timothee Chalamet wore a sparkly black harness to the Golden Globes on January 6, 2019. I believe the more and more these BDSM elements become visible in mainstream, the more BDSM, in all its forms, becomes an acceptable thing to try.
Claire Blakeborough, ElectraStim: Electro sex has definitely made headway into more mainstream markets over the last few years. A large part of this is that people are less shy when talking about sex toys and investigating different ways to experience pleasure. I think that’s probably the case for other BDSM manufacturers or retailers too and we’re only going to see it grow even more.
Joel Tucker, The Stockroom: BDSM remained classified as a mental disorder until quite recently, but I had always expected it was just a matter of time until that changed. Finally in 2013, the American Psychological Association modified its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) to remove consensual BDSM from its list of pathological disorders, just as had been done with homosexuality a generation earlier. And just like the reclassification of homosexuality, it was the result of decades of work by the alternative community — through education, writing, organizations, workshops, and much more — and more and more respectable, honest, articulate people “coming out” about it and showing who and what we really are.
BDSM’s move into the mainstream has been a mostly-welcome development for people who love kinky play, of course. But I believe it has also been beneficial for society in general. There is, of course, a wide world of sensations, possibilities, and inventive accouterments for the mainstream to discover and explore, but beyond that, there is also a reservoir of consciousness work we’ve done which we can share.
What may have been considered extreme 5-10 years ago that may be “normal” today?
Nichole Grossmann, CalExotics: We’ve seen an increase in the demand and acceptance of anal play. Customers are increasingly interested in new and expanded anal products that give variety to their sex lives. These items are also being used regardless of sexual preference, which furthers their reach.
Sunny Rodgers, Pipedream Products: I think limiting the senses with blindfolds and masks was once viewed as extreme, but is now a common entry point to trying BDSM. The same with rope bondage. I also feel that people today continue to push the envelope in search of more pleasure. As new BDSM pleasure heights are reached, it makes other acts seem tame.
Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson: BDSM staples, including leather products (ie. leather cuffs, paddles, etc.) and ben-wa balls, have been hot for several years now, and we don’t see them slowing down anytime soon. But what we’re also seeing today as BDSM becomes more and more mainstream, is that consumers are gradually starting to explore more niche BDSM/fetish products.
John Turi, Sportsheets: What isn’t? Fisting, squirting, gaping, kinbaku — all of these at one point were considered extreme. Now, people bat an eye and see these things as just apart of sexuality.
Claire Blakeborough, ElectraStim:Definitely anal play. Of course, this has never been an ‘extreme’ activity for a lot of people but the mainstream view of anal sex and anal toys has changed dramatically in the last decade. What would have been considered taboo for a lot of people five or 10 years ago is now a regular part of their erotic lives, and I genuinely believe it’s all down to education. People have been having safe and fun anal sex for years but up until very recently there hasn’t been a (positive) public conversation about it in the way there has been recently. This openness means that we’re all finally having proper adult discussions about anal sex and the stigma is slowly eroding.
Joel Tucker, The Stockroom: Playing with power dynamics between individuals has become much more widely acceptable, thanks in part to having so many books and educators talking about how to do it safely and consensually. It used to be that one person playing the dominant role was considered, if not abusive, at least a clear red flag. But the more we talk about the importance of negotiated play, the more open people have become to using dominance and submission for erotic pleasure.
There’s now a much wider variety of equipment, more information on how to do it safely, and hundreds of thousands of people enjoying it without harm. Our own Neon Wand and its assorted accessories are one of our own notable contributions in the arena of electrosex which has found a surprising degree of mainstream acceptance and success. It has an adaptable range that can be set to a very mild level to begin first experiments, making it very accessible for beginners.
There’s also a very distinct generational difference in what’s considered “normal.” For the millennials, the sexual palette seems to be much wider and richer than the generation before them. On the dating apps now, the question is less “Are you kinky?” than “Which kinks do you like?” Social media has played a big role in that normalization; people talk openly about sexuality and gender on Twitter and Facebook, and as a result, it’s a lot less scary to take those first steps into trying it yourself.
Ryan Fraga, Oxballs: A great example of something that was fringe and freaky to many straight and gay men is chastity play. When Oxballs started 10 years ago there were few companies that made chastity toys. The idea of giving up pleasure, or giving up the part of our body that we seek pleasure with most for a short or long amount of time, was not really on most people’s menu of kinks.
Is there an area of BDSM whose popularity you’ve really seen take off, and how have you tried to accommodate that niche?
Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson: Right now, our two fastest growing BDSM subcategories are nipple stimulation products and bondage rope. In our Kink by Doc Johnson line, we have several styles of nipple accessories. The Swell Auto Nipple Sucker Cups, released in 2018, is a particularly innovative product in the nipple stimulation category— it features a stethoscope-like design, with two nipple cups that suck and vibrate at the push of a button (vibration and suction are both independently controlled), for hands-free nipple stimulation. Our two best-performing bondage ropes are the Japanese Style Bondage Rope in Black, which is made of soft cotton, and the Kink by Doc Johnson Hogtied Bind & Tie 6mm Hemp Bondage Rope – 30 Feet, which offers 30 feet of strong, natural hemp rope in a 6mm width. The versatility, strength, and smooth whipped ends of the hemp rope make it perfect for full restraint, shibari, and many other rope play styles.
Sunny Rodgers, Pipedream Products: For Pipedream Products, our Fetish Fantasy Series continues to be one of our top-selling brands. In this niche, we found our restraint products increasing in popularity. Therefore, we launched the Sir Richard’s Command collection, showcasing industrial-strength restraints. We wanted to provide bondage products at different price points and for different user levels of experience. Command is specifically designed for hardcore play, while many Fetish Fantasy products are made for BDSM beginners.
John Turi, Sportsheets: More recently, we have been noticing collaring, and edging getting much more popular lately. We have created our Sincerely, Sportsheets line, which has different styles of vibrators perfect for teasing and edging. Collaring also has been brought into the daylight, and people are wearing their collars at all times. We have many fashion collars for any type of wear, and also heavy duty leather collars. You can mix it up for how you want to play.
Claire Blakeborough, ElectraStim: Honestly, the whole electro niche has really taken off in recent years. I think the more empowered people feel to explore different stimulation, the more naturally they’ll turn to the ‘hardcore’ end of the toy spectrum to see what’s on offer.
A lot of time and care goes into our toys to ensure that users get the best possible experience from electro-sex. Andy’s (Andy Smith, ElectraStim’s owner) mantra has always been ‘pleasure first’ when we’re designing new items so we start with that and try to innovate as much as possible while creating a broad spread of accessories. If someone has an unpleasant experience with a cheaper device that wasn’t made by an specialist manufacturer like ourselves it’s very hard to gain their confidence back again. Not all electro sex toys are created equally so if the unit hasn’t been designed and rigorously tested with pleasure in mind it can put people off. Electro is definitely a niche still but it’s growing so it needs as many positive responses as possible.
Nichole Grossmann, CalExotics: Restraint systems have become a focal point in the lifestyle, and we’ve embraced their popularity within our Scandal product line. It’s our goal to offer a wide variety of fetish items. For example, our Scandal Universal Cuff Set offers soft and adjustable universal cuffs that cater to first timers and seasoned BDSM customers.
Corinna Trümner, Mystim: We have tried to make a BDSM topic accessible to a non-BDSM clientele. For example, we have created silicone dildos and vibrators with an additional stimulation-current function. The key to our success is high-quality e-stim sex toys. Safe but highly intensive electrical impulses push the nerve channels, the brain and all pleasure centers within the body to breath-taking limits. It gets even more intense when the sub suffers from loss of control and is tied or fixed. E-stim nipple clamps, such as the Barry Bite, which are a real miracle weapon for erotic punishments and “clarifications in the balance of power,” are great fun.
How are you aiding retailers in merchandising their BDSM products/section?
Sunny Rodgers, Pipedream Products: As always, our Pipedream Planogrammer allows retailers to easily create wall arrangements and custom wall skins can be created to adhere to grid wall. In addition to custom posters, there are brand and collection posters available for download directly from the Pipedream site. The same goes for online retailers with downloadable webmaster tools.
We also go one step further by creating Sales Sheets for our collections that explain features, benefits, and advantages for our new products — and these sheets also include key target customers so retailers can better understand who these products are for.
Lastly, to make it very easy for brick and mortar retailers, we created the Shelf-N-Shop Command By Sir Richard’s Retail Merchandising System. This in-store merchandising system includes all the shelves, hardware, graphics, 3D signage, 20 Command products, and testers retailers need to turn an ordinary wall into a destination. The non-permanent Shelf-n-Shop System can be moved around and customized to fit retail space. All products and materials are shipped conveniently in a single box for easy setup, making installation simple in less than five minutes.
Nichole Grossmann, CalExotics: With the rise of online shopping, we’ve put an emphasis on enhanced imagery for our products that help customers identify items that cater to their kinks. We’ve also embraced the BDSM lifestyle with our Scandal line, which offers a range of playful, fetish products. We offer in-store signage to further support the fantasy for our customers and their deepest desires.
Corinna Trümner, Mystim: We support our dealers in many ways. Special questions about our products are inevitably answered via all channels (personal, telephone, e-mail, social media). We provide free demos of all new toys which are available and can be played at the point of sales. The advantage is that our demos explain e-stim and all its products in a witty and charming way, clearly, comprehensibly and to the point. We also provide (on request) POS material for free (shelftalkers, posters, banners, catalogues, etc.).
Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson: The best sell-through happens when retailers invest in enough product and shelf space to tell the full brand story. The idea with Kink by Doc Johnson was to provide our customers with a complete range so that they weren’t just getting a Kink butt plug or a Kink fuck machine, but an entire wall of Kink to display in their store (whether brick and mortar or online), so that the end consumer would have access to the full Kink experience.
John Turi, Sportsheets: We are always open to help provide retailers with print and promotional materials. With our new re-brand of Sportsheets, we have many photos for retailers to use to help promote their products. We also have readily available planograms to help create an impact for consumers.
Claire Blakeborough, ElectraStim: All our products come with bespoke POS stands and signage; this includes our ‘hardcore’ items. In terms of how we merchandise though, we’re led by how each store works and their ethos.
We like to work really closely with all retailers (both bricks and mortar and online) to ensure they have the best ElectraStim presentation possible for their unique setup. All our stockists also gets full training and regular refreshers when we bring out new products — either in person or via Skype.
Joel Tucker, The Stockroom: A lot of retailers buy wholesale goods from us, and our in-house design team makes sure to keep up with the wants and needs of the kink community. We’re diligent about manufacturing high-quality, durable, body-safe gear that holds up through the roughest of scenes, and over time we try to help retailers see the difference between built-to-last gear and the more disposable product. (Sometimes quality product costs a little more, but with good reason, and over time it can be the best value.) We keep in touch with requests and reports from retailers, and our wholesale reps do visit stores from time to time to do education on kink products and consult on building out kink-product offerings.
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